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Old 02-15-2012, 12:44 PM   #1
Emabulator
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The "Useless" Team Fortress 2 $100 Ring


This would come in handy if you wanted to marry one of your clan mates.

Quote:
If there's one thing we know more about than hats, it's probably romance. Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever's handy, really. And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell - it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies' faces.

Anyway, today's Valentine's Day, and that means if you're dating or married, you're going to drop somewhere in the area of $600 tonight on flowers, dinner, babysitters, hot air balloon rides, a hospital bill for rain-related holding injuries (Seattle only). It adds up fast, and you might be asking yourself at the end of the night, "Was it all worth it?" The answer, emphatically, is no. Happy Valentine's Day, stupid.

But wait! What if we told you that you could waste as much as 1/6 less money this Valentine's Day? What if we added that you could do it without even leaving your house? Then what if we sweetened the deal further by saying sorry for calling you stupid earlier?

Introducing the "Something Special For Someone Special". It's ring-shaped, it's gift-wrapped, it's basically useless, and it's really expensive ($100!). In short, it's the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine's Day gift ever made available to the public.

Here's how it works:

First, it's not tradable, only giftable. When it shows up in your special someone's backpack, they can click on it to open a menu that will let them accept your proposal. Once the proposal's been accepted, a message will be broadcast to the entire TF community that will include your name, your special someone's name, and whatever you decided to call the ring. Then presto, the gift turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear in the rain while you smooch up a storm, you crazy kids.
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:05 PM   #2
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Forever alone.
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You sir, are my fucking hero!
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:06 PM   #3
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Makes the Mass Effect 3 Digital Deluxe Edition look like a bargain.
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:34 PM   #4
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I don't... why would anyone...
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:51 PM   #5
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I was going to get all mad about in-game items, but then I realized this is actually an absolutely brilliant commentary on diamonds.
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:07 PM   #6
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Makes the Mass Effect 3 Digital Deluxe Edition look like a bargain.
Or any other day one DLC.
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Another golden AP quote. :)
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You sir, are my fucking hero!
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:19 PM   #7
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That's less than I paid for Double Fine Adventure. If my contribution is accepted I will expect Tim Schafer to marry me.
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:35 PM   #8
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And people give Blizzard and EA shit.
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:21 PM   #9
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Sorry, I must have missed something... what exactly are they selling here?
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:27 PM   #10
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Cut the crap and give us HL2: Ep3 already.
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:55 PM   #11
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In related news, it seems gamers have too much money. If you'd like to just send(throw away) $100, I have a ready and willing Paypal account!
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Old 02-15-2012, 04:14 PM   #12
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I've never seen a company more smoothly tell the customer they are idiots to their faces. Bravo Valve!
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Old 02-15-2012, 04:20 PM   #13
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And people give Blizzard and EA shit.
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I've never seen a company more smoothly tell the customer they are idiots to their faces. Bravo Valve!
Holy shit. Teecakes is not the ultimate fanboy on this site anymore!
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Another golden AP quote. :)
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You sir, are my fucking hero!
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Old 02-15-2012, 04:29 PM   #14
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Holy shit. Teecakes is not the ultimate fanboy on this site anymore!
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I had no idea he was posting awesome stuff that would get the ads cancelled.
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Lock is untouchable though, he's too cool to be targeted, like ever. He's Detroit's Heisenberg!
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Old 02-15-2012, 04:51 PM   #15
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I wish I didn't know in my heart that someone is going to propose to someone like this AND BE ACCEPTED.

sigh
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Old 02-15-2012, 04:54 PM   #16
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I wish I didn't know in my heart that someone is going to propose to someone like this AND BE ACCEPTED.

sigh
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Old 02-15-2012, 07:15 PM   #17
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It's safe to say that sadly, Picard prefers an Android Phone.
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Old 02-15-2012, 10:09 PM   #18
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Lock is untouchable though, he's too cool to be targeted, like ever. He's Detroit's Heisenberg!
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Old 02-15-2012, 10:51 PM   #19
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I wonder if the name you give the item runs through a profanity filter before being sent to the public.
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:39 AM   #20
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Forever alone.
Patience good sir, all in good time.
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