Welcome back to The Kraggonomicon. Here's Podcast contributor Kragg's latest fortnightly scheduled article filled with humor, wit, and games. This week features a lovely song. Enjoy! ~modeps
Where Have All The Rentals Gone? (A Cautionary Tale)
Where are my rentals, where have they gone?
They're not under my couch, or out on my lawn,
They're not at Wal-Mart, at Best Buy or Fry's,
So off to the GameStop that people despise.
The black-shirted man greeted me with a laugh,
And said "Welcome in, your trades are worth cash!"
I told him no trades, I'd shown up to rent,
And he became vexed and started to vent,
"RENTAL YOU SAY?! What a foolish request!"
I replied "no MP, ten hours at best"
This had enraged him, plainly to see
"IF IT'S NOT WRAPPED IN PLASTIC, NO DLC!"
"DLC?" I chuckled, "I care not for that."
"NO GOLD GUN?" he shouted "OR AVATAR HATS?!"
I repeated "a rental, no less and no more"
To which he replied "Get out of my store."
So I wandered to Blockbuster and much to my glee,
Aisles of rentals that stared back at me,
"Enjoy it for now" the clerk said forlorn,
"For sometime soon, all this will be gone."
I stared at the boy in complete disbelief
"Chapter 11" he sighed "There is no relief"
"You used to rent games, from near and from far"
"Now you're too lazy to get in your car."
"Digital downloading is all that pervades."
"And we'll soon be done when Red Box invades"
"They're testing it now, right as we speak"
"In the city of Reno, down by the creek"
"Reno Nevada?!" I said in a shock,
"But crackheads and prostitutes don't play Xbox!"
"Well then maybe it's Gamefly?" he droned in malaise,
"But I want games now, not in thirty six days!"
So I left with my rental, gloomy and glum,
Knowing this service's time would soon come.
So heed this fair warning, and count numbered days,
Unless all us gamers should change in our ways,
Companies bleed money from out of our hands,
Tchotchkes and pre-orders all part of their plans,
They hype and they market even if the game sucks,
And we know Dante's Inferno ain't worth sixty three bucks.
