Uwe Boll Reading MGS Script

[score]

From 1up (http://www.1up.com):

People have been clamoring for Solid Snake to start hunting Metal Gear on the big screen, even suggesting series creator Hideo Kojima would be fit for the director's chair. The wheels may finally be in motion for a Metal Gear Solid film, but Kojima didn't write the script and nothing suggests he'll be directing - but German filmmaker Uwe Boll might.
Read more (http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3146949) if you can stomach it...

[joruussuun]

I think I'm going to be sick... (but I heard some Japanese guy was directing it, I think he did the latest Godzilla movie or something...)

[fitbabits]

And for those too scared to click the link:

1UP confirmed with the director today that he's been reading a Metal Gear Solid script commissioned by Konami to an unnamed writer. Boll wasn't able to provide any details, so it's unconfirmed whether Konami's aiming for a straight adaptation of the game series or an original adventure, but he did confirm the film's only in the script stage.

As of this writing, Konami representatives couldn't be reached to confirm any details about a possible Metal Gear Solid film, but it'd be incredibly bold for Boll to start spouting lies about a script.

Boll himself is currently watching the ticket sales for his recently released BloodRayne, and while the numbers haven't proved favorable, he's already scripting an adaptation of Running With Scissors' violent and controversial Postal series and has already locked shooting Crytek's Far Cry in April 2007.

Remember, this isn't like the "OMG is Boll directing Halo???" situation. Boll hasn't been listed by an insane fan on IMDB; he has confirmed via e-mail he's reading a Metal Gear Solid script right now. More details should surface soon.
Dude, if Boll is directing a Metal Gear Solid movie... I can't, I just can't.

[Vandenh]

MGS doesn't make sense, Mr. Boll should be perfect for that movie.

[residentps2]

Personally, I believe someone might actually have Boll murdered if he is tapped to direct the MGS movie. That franchise is too precious to too many people for him to turn it into another shit-fest.

[Nite_Moogle]

IS NOTHING SACRED? /sob

[sickfallout]

Kojima's not involved? Then it's not MGS. I can enjoy it, because I'll be seeing it and saying "Wow, this is bad enough to kill cancer." Then, when I get home, I can play through The Twin Snakes, Sons of Liberty, and Snake Eater to heal.

As a friend of mine likes to say, "This is the kind of movie that requires 3 other people and heavy drinking beforehand to make it fun."

[The Continental]

Seriously, what kind of pact with the pagan god of your choice does one have to have to maintain a career the likes of Uwe Boll? Not a SINGLE movie of his has made back its production/advertising costs (www.boxofficemojo.com), nor have they received anything remotely resembling critical praise. Is this guy a self made billionaire or something who decided to take up film making? In this day in age one flop, espeically on someone's first movie pretty much seals their fate in hollywood yet this guy is viewed as a total joke by both his target audience (gamers) and by his peers and critics and still manages to keep cranking out the shitty movies. Hell, they seem to be getting actual celebrities for that low budget version of LotR he is calling Dungeon Siege. What the fuck is wrong with the world that this guy gets to keep making movies?!

[fushi]

I'm pretty sure Kojima would love whatever Boll cooks up.

[holysin]

someone should start one of those petitions to stop uwe from making movies.
I mean, come one, if everybody hates you and your crappy work, maybe you should just quit.

[Reanimated]

It seems that they've managed to locate the single human on the planet that could make MGS even crappier than it already is.

[DanAmerson]

The Japanese guy reference above is Ryuhei Kitamura (I'm going from memory so I may be wrong on the spelling). He did the cut scene direction for The Twin Snakes and directed a movie called Versus. Many people say that Versus is totally awesome. I've seen it, and I thought it was good but not great. By any stretch though, Kitamura is worlds better than Boll.

dba

[Morratut]

I don't care about the MGS series so let Mr Boll do the film. It can't be any worse than the damn games ;)

I feel for you MGS fans. I really do. If I found out he was doing the Halo movie I would freak too.

[Sl1pstream]

They'd better have a giant cobra as an enemy.

[Shodan2020]

MGS doesn't make sense, Mr. Boll should be perfect for that movie.

Sure it does. Twin brothers that are genetically an exact copy of the best mercenary the world has ever known, fighting each other. One apart of the governments secret special force squad, Fox-Hound, the other at the head of a band of terrorists that have seized Shadow Moses Island, where a "nuclear weapon" (read Metal Gear Rex) is held. Two snakes enter.. only one leaves.

Now if you want a storyline that doesn't make sense... MGS2: Sons of Liberty is a better candidate, although it makes sense once you read a plotline of it after you play the game.... :)

About Boll... I think Konami had better tell him he can look but, he can't touch. At least Boll didn't make the Metal Gear games.. he can't touch those memories. It's hard for me to really care, even though I do love the Metal Gear series (including the Solids). The simple fact is that most all of the movies based off of videogames are... well bad. (See: Double Dragon, Street Fighter, Mario Brothers.. etc.) And those weren't directed by Mr. Boll. Not that I'm a Boll apologist, the man makes shitty movies and can't direct. I think the reason he can do these movies is because of a German Tax write off. (See Wiki on Uwe Boll (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_Boll) under the Financing header.) Ugh, the man even looks like a fucker.

[Abednigo]

Ugh....

Why oh why are they allowing this guy to destroy game franchises?

[emperordahc]

Same voice as the death scenes' quote of "Snnnaaakkkkeee!!!!":

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

[Shodan2020]

Wow, he's actually slated to make a movie on Fear Effect????

That makes me sad.

[Shodan2020]

Same voice as the death scenes' quote of "Snnnaaakkkkeee!!!!":

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Lol! That should be the tagline on the movie posters!

[Savok]

Sad part is, plotwise the film will probably be better then MGS2 was.

[midrael]

You know, I love the MGS franchise. This is probably the ONLY way that I would refuse to go see an MGS movie.

Mission Failed.

Or, maybe we'll all wake up from this and find out it's a dream sequence, in which case it's really:
Fission Mailed.

[ReaverX]

God, I saw this a couple of days ago and almost cried. Why do people keep throwing work to this man? his movies flop and don't really turn a profit... Why bother?

[Chimpbot]

I think I'm going to be sick... (but I heard some Japanese guy was directing it, I think he did the latest Godzilla movie or something...)

I hope Kitamura can make a better video game movie than he can a Godzilla movie...because Final Wars was the weakest Godzilla movie I've seen in years. It looks even weaker when compared to Shusuke Kaneko's Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah.

Maybe he'll do a better job with Metal Gear than a kaiju movie...

[Kelegacy]

Does this guy even play videogames? And are there no crazy fans out there with the notion of assassination in their crackpot minds?

[TheEpicOfTyler]

I will commit suicide if the MGS movie (WHICH SHOULD NEVER BE MADE), is in the hands of this bafoon. Kojima is the only one capable of directing this, and should be the only one that decides if it's a movie or not.

[Oddmaker]

Go back to germany.

[Heretic Machine]

Genocide by way of film. A plan so devious that only the Germans could think of it. Their target?

Gamers.

[fitbabits]

Go back to germany.
Psst, World War II is over and it's not his fault that England suck at penalty shootouts. :)

[Heretic Machine]

Psst, World War II is over and it's not his fault that England suck at penalty shootouts. :)

Bullshit. WWII is fought every day on millions of PC's and consoles around the world!

[Dr Quincy]

It seems that they've managed to locate the single human on the planet that could make MGS even crappier than it already is.

Real constructive.

[score]

The Japanese guy reference above is Ryuhei Kitamura (I'm going from memory so I may be wrong on the spelling). He did the cut scene direction for The Twin Snakes and directed a movie called Versus. Many people say that Versus is totally awesome. I've seen it, and I thought it was good but not great. By any stretch though, Kitamura is worlds better than Boll.

dba

Kitamura would be a great guy for the job. He showed a lot of flair in the remade Twin Snakes cut scenes. I thought they kicked ass. Much like his directed movie would.

[DCJoeDog]

OK, seriously, is anyone else NOT watching these movies solely based on his name being attached? I know I am.

[fitbabits]

Bullshit. WWII is fought every day on millions of PC's and consoles around the world!
Ah, my apologies. The REAL World War II is over. England still suck at penalty shootouts, though - of that there is no doubt. :)

[Abednigo]

OK, seriously, is anyone else NOT watching these movies solely based on his name being attached? I know I am.

Yeah, pretty much. After watching House of the Dead I decided that any movie based on a game directed by Uwe Boll I would avoid like the plague. Unless I was in the mood to totally rip into a movie for it's sheer suckiness, but I don't want to waste 90 minutes of my life doing that with his movies.

[WastelandDan]

my question is, who actually goes to these movies? He's making movies about games so it stands to reason that his audience would primarily be gamers, but he's become so notorious that even the most drunk, stoned off his ass frat boy casual gamer has probably heard of him in a negative light. The man's a living joke. Is there anybody who actually likes these films?

[emperordahc]

Uwe Boll is actually a really nice guy; he's helping to create a rich movie library for a return of MST3K.

[overdrivechao]

Obviously no one would go see it, that kinda goes without saying, but the only problem I have with Uwe messing up another movie is the impression people who haven't played the game yet might get, keeping them away from a great franchise. Dr. Boll, please stop making movies, or if you have to, make them about Kleenex and its many iterations.

[Chill]

This is such bullshit. Kojima has stated that if (IF!) there's a MGS movie he will be directly involved. The last I heard about the MGS movie was the Variety article about a year ago, but it mentioned nothing about Konami making their own script. Kojima might have been thinking about a movie, but he has no time since he decided to take the directors chair with MGS4.

Anyways, Kojima knows some Japanese directors, and MGS, I think, is more popular in Japan than anywhere else. If there will be a MGS movie, it will be released in Japan first.

[bapenguin]

I think it's time we give Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or both a call. We'll plead to them to plead to all actors and actresses to NOT do any Uwe movies.

[Magnanimous Gnome]

This is such bullshit. Kojima has stated that if (IF!) there's a MGS movie he will be directly involved. The last I heard about the MGS movie was the Variety article about a year ago, but it mentioned nothing about Konami making their own script. Kojima might have been thinking about a movie, but he has no time since he decided to take the directors chair with MGS4.

Anyways, Kojima knows some Japanese directors, and MGS, I think, is more popular in Japan than anywhere else. If there will be a MGS movie, it will be released in Japan first.


Actually I'm pretty sure that MGS is NOT popular in Japan. Can anyone clear this up?

[Balthasar]

Lol! That should be the tagline on the movie posters!

Too late:

http://darthno.ytmnd.com/

[fushi]

Anyways, Kojima knows some Japanese directors, and MGS, I think, is more popular in Japan than anywhere else.
Not to be nitpicky, but this isn't true. None of the MGS titles have reached the 1 Million mark. They usually hover around 800-900k. Worldwide sales of MGS are many times higher than that.

And...
Sad part is, plotwise the film will probably be better then MGS2 was.It seems that they've managed to locate the single human on the planet that could make MGS even crappier than it already is.MGS doesn't make sense, Mr. Boll should be perfect for that movie.
FISSION MAILED

You should go pick up Draft and make thread where you outline every single thing that is wrong with the entire series / with the plotline of part 2. Seriously, it would provide a good read and I could finally see some substance beyond those "lol MGS2 is dum Kojima cant wryte"-posts you people make every time the game comes up.

[Balthasar]

Actually I'm pretty sure that MGS is NOT popular in Japan. Can anyone clear this up?
I'm pretty sure you are incorrect. It is very popular here, however. Perhaps moreso.

[falak]

If Uwe "Fucking Satan" Boll directs a MGS movie, I will find him and I will kill him. I want it known, when Dr. Evil is found dead on his doorstep, it was me. Obviously I'll use the Chokie Roberts, just to make a point.

[fitbabits]

I think it's time we give Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or both a call. We'll plead to them to plead to all actors and actresses to NOT do any Uwe movies.
Just so long as I get to:

A - Punch Billy Bush square in the mouth x5
B - Get to talk to Nancy O'Dell.
C - Have immediate access to the bathroom upon completion of B.

[Cubfan]

The direction in the movie would no doubt be laughably bad if they went with Boll, but (in my opinion, of course), the script couldn't get any worse than the actual games, so I wouldn't worry about the writing.

[SuperMonkeyFighter2]

I heard Boll cast Lee Majors as Solid Snake and Gary Busey as Liquid Snake. Can anyone confirm this?

[Dracula-X]

Uwe Boll needs to be tried for crimes against humanity, that goddamn terrorist. Where the hell is Homeland Security???

[fitbabits]

I heard Boll cast Lee Majors as Solid Snake and Gary Busey as Liquid Snake. Can anyone confirm this?
It's the other way round. And Meryl is played by none other than Dame Judi Dench. Boll's reasoning was that she's already played M in the Bond movies, why not let her play the 'eryl' part. Can't fault his logic, I suppose.

[SuperMonkeyFighter2]

It's the other way round. And Meryl is played by none other than Dame Judi Dench. Boll's reasoning was that she's already played M in the Bond movies, why not let her play the 'eryl' part. Can't fault his logic, I suppose.

That's so dumb it's actually brilliant :p

[Testcase]

Dr Uwe Boll is an American gamer's best friend.

Why?

Because the very fact he continues to suck oxygen and expel carbon dioxide on a daily basis is CONCRETE FACTUAL EVIDENCE that Jack Thompson and his ilk's contentions of violent homocidal trained killer gamers is utterly and completely baseless. Because, otherwise, Dr Boll's bullet-riddled and spray-painted body would have LONG ago been discovered face-down in a pile of broken crates with a crowbar lodged in his brainpan.

Thank you.

[JRR006]

I read the headline and shrieked out loud.

In any event - the Japanese director? Guy who did the cutscenes for Twin Snakes? Can't say I'd be all that thrilled about that, either... although perhaps I'm the tiny minority who thinks The Twin Snakes was at best a *prettier* version of MGS, lacking most of the heart of the original.

Snake leaping off a missile - makes me cringe every time.

[ElectricMonk]

didn't they close that loophole where you can continue to make failed german movies as a tax write-off?

[PixelSamurai]

I wish this article was more specific. Who is giving a hack german film-butcher this script? As retarded as Uwe Boll's movies are, it would take a whole 'nother level of retardedness to trust this man with a game property that people actually care about. For fuck's sake, House of the Dead had video game footage intercut with action sequences.

[AversionFX]

If he is allowed to touch MGS, I will kill him in much a similar fashion as a father would kill a man who wronged his daughter.

[Lon Lon Rabbit]

I'll see it if they get Chuck Norris to do Snake.

[Savok]

FISSION MAILED

You should go pick up Draft and make thread where you outline every single thing that is wrong with the entire series / with the plotline of part 2. Seriously, it would provide a good read and I could finally see some substance beyond those "lol MGS2 is dum Kojima cant wryte"-posts you people make every time the game comes up.
That'd involve me playing the game again. For the record I did do that years ago at a MGS2 board. I won. Off the top of my head

The whole last sequence
The arm thing
Raiden
Raiden and the President's wang
Jack and Rose
Fuck just Rose in general
The bisexual vampire, what is this a LiveJournal?
The fact the Patriots should have never been stopped

The only thing that stopped me breaking the disc in two was the bond Otacon and Snake had formed, had they made the whole game with that it might very well have come remotely near the excellence of MGS1.

[Spigot]

Kitimura would be great. I loved the reworked cutscenes in MGS:The Twin Snakes. You'd think that given Kojima's burning desire to be a movie maker, he would keep the reigns of the movie far away from someone like Boll.

I just read a review of Bloodrayne to see how badly it sucked. Yeesh. One could almost hope that the snafu with the 5500 extra copies being mailed out would keep Boll from directing again.

Or at least from directing any more game movies. Blarg.

[Spigot]

Dr Uwe Boll is an American gamer's best friend.

Why?

Because the very fact he continues to suck oxygen and expel carbon dioxide on a daily basis is CONCRETE FACTUAL EVIDENCE that Jack Thompson and his ilk's contentions of violent homocidal trained killer gamers is utterly and completely baseless. Because, otherwise, Dr Boll's bullet-riddled and spray-painted body would have LONG ago been discovered face-down in a pile of broken crates with a crowbar lodged in his brainpan.

Thank you.
Bah. I was going to put something to this effect up but you beat me to it and, sadly, did it far more eloquently.

[WastelandDan]

While Dr. Boll is not involved with this film, the Sci-fi channel is apparently making a sequel to House of the Dead. This however does raise an interesting question; just how much better will this made-for-tv sequel be then the original? I really don't think it's possible for it to be worse. It may be the first case ever where the tv spinoff has better production values then the original theatre version that spawned it.

http://www.scifi.com/housedead2/

[H.Bogard]

Boll and J.Thompson...we must pay for our sins!

[Chill]

Not to be nitpicky, but this isn't true. None of the MGS titles have reached the 1 Million mark. They usually hover around 800-900k. Worldwide sales of MGS are many times higher than that.

Oh well, another one of my theories dies. Kinda strange it hasn't done well in Japan. I know Japanese gamers don't really go for the military themes, but, for me, MGS has always had a very Japanese feel (and not just in art direction).

[Herald42]

It's sad. Boll seems to be trying to make a living by imitating The Producers.

[dead]

no one knows... maybe uwe will turn the movie into a comedy

[xDrZaiusx]

Here is a petition to stop Uwe Boll

http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

Please Sign it and send the link to any major Websites you can.

[fushi]

I won.
:rolleyes:

Way to come off as an Internet badass. Good luck with that.

Most of the facts you outlined just prove that you don't share the same sense of humor as Kojima and I won't bother arguing about that, since it isn't everyone's thing. Besides, you seem to have your mind set on the game, so whatever.

[Borys]

Off-Topic:

A Deus Ex movie would be damn cool.

[Subbacultcha]

Off-Topic:

A Deus Ex movie would be damn cool.

Except if it was done by Uwe Boll, in which case it'd be about a cyborg assassin hired by the CIA to fight cloned Vikings.

[megaman]

Off-Topic:

A Deus Ex movie would be damn cool.

Deus Ex movie was infact in the works at one point, don't know what's up with it now..(it was talked about around 3-4 years before but maybe they cancelled it now after the colosal failure or dx2 )

And Kojima and Konami has lost a ton of respectability from me after reading this article and they're the ones deserving of all the hate in this thread (and not boll..I mean what wrong has that guy done..he's just trying to earn a living)...WTF WERE THEY THINKING???!!! W H A T T H E F U C K ? ? ?

[Savok]

:rolleyes:

Way to come off as an Internet badass. Good luck with that.

Most of the facts you outlined just prove that you don't share the same sense of humor as Kojima and I won't bother arguing about that, since it isn't everyone's thing. Besides, you seem to have your mind set on the game, so whatever.
My god, there's a person out there that enjoyed that whole Jack and Rose thing?

[aversion2k]

I dont understand why (other then for money) people should make movies based of games.

Games are better then movies :D

[HALO 32]

i wouldnet let Boll touch the script...hell i wouldnt let him touch any of the games! He already runied bloodrayne so why do people keep giving him scripts!

[Savok]

That's another thing, how can you ruin Bloodrayne? The game is just an excuse to kill nazis as a hot vampire in leather.

[megaman]

Yeah if you see that way..whatever projects Boll has done so far has been of crappy games..maybe he'll do some good with this one.. :)

[HALO 32]

That's another thing, how can you ruin Bloodrayne? The game is just an excuse to kill nazis as a hot vampire in leather.

good point

[Kefkataran]

Oh Christ. I've joked about liking Uwe Boll before, but I never thought he'd get hold of a serious game series I like. :(