Steve Ballmer - I Don't Have an Xbox 360

[fitbabits]

According to Team Xbox (http://www.teamxbox.com), Steve Ballmer (CEO of Microsoft) does not have his own Xbox 360 (http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/9895/Ballmer-Doesnt-Have-an-Xbox-360/) . Nor do his kids!

"The Ballmer children do not have their Xbox 360 yet. I'm in the same boat as many of you," Steve Ballmer told Reuters. "Thanks to the wonders of Sarbanes-Oxley, management does not get a free Xbox 360," explained the Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft Corporation.
Poor Ballmer kids. Still, if Mr. Ballmer is stuck for gift ideas, I suggest he check out the following thread - Video Game Gifts for the Obscenely Rich (http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7738)! :)

[Bushido]

What a load of horse-shit.

[fitbabits]

What a load of horse-shit.
Are you suggesting that the Ballmer's do, in fact, have an Xbox 360 secreted away somewhere? :rolleyes:

[Bushido]

Are you suggesting that the Ballmer's do, in fact, have an Xbox 360 secreted away somewhere? :rolleyes:

Yes, he is a damned dirty liar.

[bapenguin]

What a load of horse-shit.

We have to deal with the Sarbanes-Oxley stuff where we work...it's a load of crap. There are restrictions on EVERYTHING. The company even has to watch what they give out as christmas gifts to employees (we used to get gift cards, but they had to nix it). Not only that...EVERYTHING is documented.....

THANKS ENRON!

[Nite_Moogle]

He probably didn't buy one because it was so expensive and there were only a couple of good launch games.

Or if he did get one he ebayed it.

[sickfallout]

I can see Ballmer diving into a huge vault filled with premium Xbox 360s, doing the breaststroke, a la Scrooge McDuck.

[Dirty Harry]

Maybe the reason ballmer doesnt have one is that he doesnt even believe in his own product?.

[TKO]

Yes, he is a damned dirty liar.
*gasp!* Lies? From a Microsoft executive? But how could this be? ;)

Yeah, I mean how could a company seriously be developing a console without everyone in their organization being in possession of one of these beasties? It is so so much easier to develop and improve a product when you use it (or let your kids use it and get feedback.)

[Mister Pie]

I'm dumb. What's Sarbanes-Oxley?

[ezzkmo]

EB prolly bumped him to the 2nd or 3rd shipment.

[fitbabits]

I'm dumb. What's Sarbanes-Oxley?
http://www.law.uc.edu/CCL/SOact/soact.pdf

[Zenek]

As a SOX intenal auditor I would have to believe that Mr. Ballmer's comments are correct. He is in the same boat as we are.

[Magnanimous Gnome]

I'm dumb. What's Sarbanes-Oxley?

I'm pretty sure it's the name of the hooker that gave me the clap.

I'll find out for sure once Adobe Reader finishes loading. That thing needs to be buried.

[Cubfan]

Can someone paraphase the 66 page .pdf and let me know who this Sarbanes Oxley fella is? Thanks.

[NoName]

http://www.law.uc.edu/CCL/SOact/soact.pdf
That's a mean pdf link to give out. It's all written in giberish.

Wikipedia is there for us though. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarbanes-Oxley)

[NeuroMan42]

I also smell horse shit. Just a PR stunt to make the evil empire seems human-like.

[Morrolan]

I doubt he's lying, but at the same time, this is a PR thing. If he really wanted a 360, he would have one. Period. He himself probably has very little time for games, and maybe he doesn't want his kids playing games all day? Maybe he's getting them a couple for christmas? There is some motivational reason for his lack of 360.

[JediSanf]

No he's probably telling the truth. In compliance with SOX he does not own a retail Xbox 360. He's got one of those spiffy black debug kits.

[Suicidal ShiZuru]

Maybe becuase hes too busy playing PS2 games or playing his PSP in his office or playing WoW on his top of the line rig in his office as well. No no no! IT must be that hes too busy playing Mariokart DS!!!

My guess is he just doesnt want one... like a lot of people...

[ldi222]

So Steve Ballmer doesnt get a free 360 but Paris Hilton does? This wouldnt be PR speak for the hardcore xbox guys who got shafted this year would it? And if it is, do they really think we are that stupid?

[Magnanimous Gnome]

My guess is that he couldn't afford an HDTV set, and decided that the graphics weren't much better than the first Xbox without one, so why bother?

[Montgomery_Python]

Who wants to join the BOO HOO Club? Ah yeah!

[TheBrainKills]

He obviously didn't do his dance this year so he doesn't get his reward.

[nonchalance]

That explains this (http://cgi.ebay.com/Microsoft-Xbox-360-Ultra-Premium-Modded-Llamma-Edition_W0QQitemZ8238748332QQcategoryZ62054QQssPag eNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem).

[Derwin]

He obviously didn't do his dance this year so he doesn't get his reward.

YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!! ARTIFICIALLY-GENERATED DEMAND!!!!

[Suicidal ShiZuru]

I wish I was beyond rich. Id buy the modded box, and the gold faceplate, then smash it on video and start a new website about it. Pwn the little nerds that have smashed ipods and 360s.

Local news stations have talked about the high demand and how no store has any available. I wouldnt say its false demand but just... the people that want them... are above the two shipped to each state...

[TrackZero]

"Dad, can you please just get us a 360 instead of playing a PR game?" - Ballmer Jr.

[Hg-203]

So Steve Ballmer doesnt get a free 360 but Paris Hilton does? This wouldnt be PR speak for the hardcore xbox guys who got shafted this year would it? And if it is, do they really think we are that stupid?

I can very well believe that he can't get his hands on a free 360, Paris Hilton could have gotten it by another companys marketing team, or from MS's Markting team to set them selves as a culture item like the Side kick for T-mobile. With everyone afraid of another Enron or WorldCom I can see the SEC on top of anyone who doesn’t follow it to the letter. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if he got his hands on an alpha kit seeing how it's just surplus junk now that the final dev kits are out.

[nonchalance]

So Steve Ballmer doesnt get a free 360 but Paris Hilton does? This wouldnt be PR speak for the hardcore xbox guys who got shafted this year would it? And if it is, do they really think we are that stupid?

If Paris gets one, it's marketing.
If Steve gets one, it's employee benefits.

See the difference?

[Nessus]

At least Madonna got one and threw it out.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have one, but if he wanted one he'd have it, whether or not it was free, I am certain he could have pulled a few strings.

[Deadend]

I thought employees could get benifits still, they just had to properly document them.

[Groo]

At least we can all sleep well at night knowing that Paris Hilton safely has her Xbox 360.

[XenonCJ]

Sorry as a person who works with SOX and writes MANY docs on SOX related business activities, I think he's just using SOX as a weird excuse so people might believe him.

SOX was put in place so that managers and eventually CEOs are held accountable (potentially criminally accountable, as in lead the CEO away in hand cuffs) for thier subordinates activites and procedures. This was created because of the Enron debacle and others...

This means that basically EVERY EVERY EVERY procedure a company does, from loading an OS on a workstation, driving a forklift, putting labels on cubicle walls, WHATEVER, if a person does a certain task for the company, that task MUST be documented, then that person's manager must sign off saying that procedure is acceptable... Then it continues up the chain once the tasks are compiled, the manager's manager might sign off, all the way up to the CEO.

WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS???

Either
A. Microsoft made some weird rule where managers can't buy or get for free any company products (hard for me to believe they would do that). Even so he could STILL get his manager to sign off on an exception I'm sure of it.

or

B. He's just trying to be cool and hip while he lies through his teeth. There's nothing in particular with SOX that prohibits him from getting it, he probably just doesn't want to break his OWN rules and set a bad example for his employees who have probably been forced recently to follow a bunch of stupid SOX rules that they themselves wrote...

[ty4a]

yes no one recieved free 360's
http://www.flickr.com/photos/majornelson/sets/1481898/

[score]

^ just what I was going to say...

[Frogleg Special]

Conquerors Don't Play Videogames.

:)

[Bushido]

Yeah rich guy jokes are so hilarious

[Achilles]

The dude’s not a gamer I suspect.

[MrMeatshake]

We have to deal with the Sarbanes-Oxley stuff where we work...it's a load of crap. There are restrictions on EVERYTHING. The company even has to watch what they give out as christmas gifts to employees (we used to get gift cards, but they had to nix it). Not only that...EVERYTHING is documented.....

THANKS ENRON!

i used to write software to manage it. i left that job.

[bapenguin]

yes no one recieved free 360's
http://www.flickr.com/photos/majornelson/sets/1481898/

Employees still can (but they get taxed on it), but Managers can not.

[OUX]

Either way SOX is still the devil.

[bapenguin]

Either way SOX is still the devil.

I agree...they actually had to hire a person at each one of our offices to make sure we are constantly in compliance with SOX. A fulltime friggin job just to make sure we are in compliance.....

[OUX]

I hear that. When I first started my internship over the summers and winter breaks 2 years ago I was in the QA dept. and I spent most of the time talking with suppliers and working with people to back track shipments, now I sit here and try to build databases just to organize documents so that they can REdocument it for the auditors.

[agentgray]

Actually, he's holding out for some Boom chairs. :D

Also, did anyone read the wikipedia article? It states that there is actually less communication.

We should be flooded with perks.

[Xerxes]

What is he like the 3rd richest man. Yeah he can't get a XboX 360... And MJ isn't going to get another kid to drink some Jesus juice. He's probably like Bill Gates and doesn't have a tv in the house. All though I kinda think Gates is lying about that to, old people love the news. News and Matlock.

[Phades]

At least Madonna got one and threw it out.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have one, but if he wanted one he'd have it, whether or not it was free, I am certain he could have pulled a few strings.

Further proof that Madonna is an idiot.

[XenonCJ]

At least Madonna got one and threw it out.Please explain this?

[outontheporch]

I find that hard to beleive. I got a buddy who's a PR guys at EA, and he got a free 360.

BTW I've been playing PDzero, madden and NFS today on 360...

verdict: ...meh.

[TRiLoGY]

According to Team Xbox (http://www.teamxbox.com), Steve Ballmer (CEO of Microsoft) does not have his own Xbox 360 (http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/9895/Ballmer-Doesnt-Have-an-Xbox-360/) . Nor do his kids!

Does anyone? lol...