Contest Winner Puts DS to (Sexual) Educational Use

[fitbabits]

Okay, so it's not April 1st, which means this story (http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=62062) must be true.

Thanks (I think) to Eurogamer (http://www.eurogamer.net):

A game designer from Ubisoft's Montreal studio has come up with a new idea for a DS game that's aimed at teaching us all about how ladies work.

Heather Kelley came up with the concept for the Game Design Challenge competition held at this year's Montreal Games Summit. The game, which is titled Lapis, is billed as "A magical pet adventure... And stealthy primer on female sexual pleasure."
Oh, Canada!

[Kelegacy]

In related news, sales of Lapis skyrocket as sexually frustrated Evil Avatar forum members lap up the game from retail outlets, eating the stores out of their stock as soon as new shipments arrive, all in a desperate attempt to figure out the female anatomy and the fairer sex's euphoric kibbles and bits.

[OUX]

Ironically the enitre deveolpment team was male.

[PIPBoy3000]

All male development team? Perhaps the best strategy to win will be repeated hard thrusts, delivered in as short a period of time as possible.

[Blade]

See? You don't get games like this on Sony's handheld. Peh!

Viva Nintendo!

[Hydroeric]

"Bet I make your bunny fly in 10 seconds.", me
"Yeah but how long will the flight be?", her ;)

[fitbabits]

I'm all for this up to a point - that point being when the DS talks back to me and asks if it's in yet! :o

[Kelegacy]

I shit you not, my junior year college roomate had "How to" porn instruction videos on his computer. I didn't like him too much so our friends would come over and raid his computer on occasion to see what perverted things he'd been watching in Windows Media Player. Some were very sick, but these we thought were funny.

Maybe they worked, because he lost his virginity the next year, when he was 20 or so.

[Valkyrist]

bwahaha...I was so waiting for this day to come. Leave it to the canadians to bring us this XD

Btw if you follow the links to their actual website, there's a playable demo for your PC.

[Sloth]

there is a nasal spray coming out or that just came out, that works like viagra for women. You won't even need foreplay anymore.

[fitbabits]

there is a nasal spray coming out or that just came out, that works like viagra for women. You won't even need foreplay anymore.
Jesus, where do I start? I personally enjoy foreplay and I know that most women do, too. You see, it gets them 'ready' for intercourse. Otherwise it's like ramming a pencil into a wire scouring pad - not nice for the woman, nor the man.

[OUX]

Jesus, where do I start? I personally enjoy foreplay and I know that most women do, too. You see, it gets them 'ready' for intercourse. Otherwise it's like ramming a pencil into a wire scouring pad - not nice for the woman, nor the man.

True, but a can of Pam does the job just as well and only costs a couple bucks!

[Kelegacy]

Jesus, where do I start? I personally enjoy foreplay and I know that most women do, too. You see, it gets them 'ready' for intercourse. Otherwise it's like ramming a pencil into a wire scouring pad - not nice for the woman, nor the man.
Foreplay is extremely important, because once you commence sex, it can be over in a heartbeat. But foreplay can last for a long time, and is like a great appetizer before a delicious dinner.

As for not being "ready", as you say, try talking a female into "alternate door" sex, when you're both drunk. That area isn't self lubricating. Ouch. Pain. Tears.

[boratika]

there is a nasal spray coming out or that just came out, that works like viagra for women. You won't even need foreplay anymore.

Bah! Not enough.

What they really need to make is a remote control with the word "orgasm" on a big shiny button, that does exactly what it suggests. (For some reason I'm picturing the revolution control...)

[OUX]

Bah! Not enough.

What they really need to make is a remote control with the word "orgasm" on a big shiny button, that does exactly what it suggests. (For some reason I'm picturing the revolution control...)

.....oh god sex sims on the rev. I can only imagine little johnny spanking the virtual monkey with the rev control when his mom walks in.....hilarity ensues

[fitbabits]

As for not being "ready", as you say, try talking a female into "alternate door" sex, when you're both drunk. That area isn't self lubricating. Ouch. Pain. Tears.
Apparently, Pam is a good product and it's only a coupla bux! So says OUX!

[OUX]

and the few cases of reported fatalities leads me to believe it works! :D

[Kelegacy]

Apparently, Pam is a good product and it's only a coupla bux! So says OUX!
Only if you get the butter-flavored Pam.

Mmmm. Buttery Bung.

[TrackZero]

.....oh god sex sims on the rev. I can only imagine little johnny spanking the virtual monkey with the rev control when his mom walks in.....hilarity ensues

Heh, combine that scene with the Dave Chappelle delivered "granny no!" line, and THAT's comedy.

[Blade]

Oh.. oh.. I thought you meant that the controller's rumble feature could be used in a female masturbation mini-game.

How you'd measure the level of sensation, I don't know. At least Nintendo would finally get an AO+ game, attract females to gaming, and kill the "kiddy" stereotype forever.

[OUX]

I heard the next game will be alittle darker titled "AIDS: One Night Stand Regrets"

[Kasirak]

Welcome to Last Month...

For those that don't know, the game design challenge for the Montreal Game Summit was... Sex in Video games.

Heather's concept was by far the best and most entertaining of the four although we had good laughs in all presentations. She addressed the issue by trying to go covert and preparing little girls and boys to the hmm joys of the future will bring.

Seriously though, it was fun to see how developers deal with this issue when conforted directly.

[Morrolan]

pencil into a wire scouring pad
LOL. That's overstating it just a LITTLE bit (the vagina is always moist, to a point.) But yeah, it's not the favored method of penetration, I'll give you that.

This game sounds fantastic. Simply, utterly, amazing. Best thing to come out of Quebec since Cretien's seizure.

[OUX]

LOL. That's overstating it just a LITTLE bit (the vagina is always moist, to a point.) But yeah, it's not the favored method of penetration, I'll give you that.

This game sounds fantastic. Simply, utterly, amazing. Best thing to come out of Quebec since Cretien's seizure.
You obviously don't know the girls he hooks up with. :p

[KSmitty]

"The way you play with the bunnies in order to win is patterned after the VARIETY of female sexual response," explained Kelley.

"This is the overall pattern but it can’t be achieved in the same way every time - different things work for different bunnies, at different stages of the game."
I laughed out loud at that bit, funny because its so true.

So when is that orgas-remote coming out? Hopefully the button will be large, have raised lettering and flash so it can seen in the dark. ;)


-K

[CapnBob]

Is the regular stylus that came with my DS ok for this or will the game respond better to a larger stylus?

[Citizen Philip]

This thread delievers.

[Magnanimous Gnome]

Beware of downloading that demo - it gave me a whole bunch of pop up junk and tried to install some other programs. I'd avoid it.