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View Full Version : Poll: Favorite Uwe Boll Movie???

Evil Avatar
08-22-2005, 08:28 PM
I was heading out to Blockbuster to pick up a couple of DVD's to watch tonight while I work and I needed some help deciding between several current films. I'm posing the question to my readers, which Uwe Boll movie is your favorite? I don't want to get stuck with a stinker.
Mr_Snuffle
08-22-2005, 08:31 PM
Well, it certainly isn't House of the Dead, I can say in all seriousness that it is the worst piece of direction I have ever seen... and I watch a lot of movies
Deadend
08-22-2005, 08:37 PM
Not getting stuck with a stinker and Uwe Boll... I don't understand.

Uwe Boll is become a label for stinker.

"Dude, I just left a Uwe Boll clone in the toliet"
Draft
08-22-2005, 08:39 PM
House of the Dead. You find a videogame movie that more closely captures its digital inspiration. House of the Dead (the game) is filled with stupid monsters, stupid characters, and lots of shooting. House of the Dead (the movie) is filled with stupid monsters, stupid characters and lots of shooting.
mkelehan
08-22-2005, 08:42 PM
He's doing a Fear Effect movie? You know... that could un-cancel FE: Inferno. That'd be cool.
Madhatter45
08-22-2005, 08:47 PM
A Uwe Boll movie that isn't a stinker...Does such a thing exist? My answer...no.
GrinR
08-22-2005, 09:04 PM
I would like to shit in Ewe Boll's eyes just like he did to me.
thecrazyd
08-22-2005, 09:08 PM
I love Uwe Boll movies. Including unreleased movies on the list isn't fair though. If you go in fully expecting it to suck, and you have a good sense of humor, you'll love both HotD and AitD.
Dirty Harry
08-22-2005, 09:18 PM
Its people like you that allow this man to continue to get work. If he just fucking made good shit no body would complain but that is not the case.
Rangoth
08-22-2005, 09:33 PM
This man needs to die for the sake of humanity.
EyesNoMore
08-22-2005, 09:38 PM
House of the Dead is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I'm serious. Obviously it isn't intentionally funny, but I still laughed my ass off at how impressively bad it was. I think it actually takes a lot of work to make movies that horrible.
thecrazyd
08-22-2005, 09:54 PM
Its people like you that allow this man to continue to get work. If he just fucking made good shit no body would complain but that is not the case.
Good. I genuinely enjoy his movies, and would pay to see anything he puts out. The dude is an unintentional comedy genius. As long as he keeps his hands off of Grim Fandango, we are cool.
Dirty Harry
08-22-2005, 10:11 PM
Good. I genuinely enjoy his movies, and would pay to see anything he puts out. The dude is an unintentional comedy genius. As long as he keeps his hands off of Grim Fandango, we are cool.
how many movies does he have to ruin to make you hate him?
hideouslywrinkled
08-22-2005, 10:40 PM
What's the one where a mentally handicapped girl gets raped? You should rent that one...
Segaholic2
08-22-2005, 11:00 PM
How do you plan on renting the six movies that aren't even finished yet?

That said, the last poll option is exactly what I came here to reply with.
Murmillo
08-22-2005, 11:04 PM
the best Uwe Boll movie is the one that is on fire in a giant bonfire that consist of all copies of his movies.. and a lot of gas.
Kefkataran
08-22-2005, 11:06 PM
Hahahahaha. Evil Avatar, I fucking love you.

I dunno what was a funnier moment for me: reading the original post or reading the replies and realizing how many people just don't get it.

That said, I voted Hunter: The Reckoning because I think Uwe Boll's take on that classic franchise is going to be mind-blowing, to put it lightly.
eatme
08-22-2005, 11:12 PM
Hunter. Because it's based on a game nobody even remembers? No, because it's the furthest away, and most likely to be canceled.
thecrazyd
08-22-2005, 11:29 PM
how many movies does he have to ruin to make you hate him?
He can ruin as much as he wants. You just take him too seriously, is all. Chill out and get a sense of humor, and you would love his work as well.
Kid Moxie
08-22-2005, 11:48 PM
Seriously EvAv, that's not even funny to joke about. I'm seriously considering thinking about asking for the money I donated back. There are some lines you just don't cross.
Dirty Harry
08-23-2005, 12:27 AM
Seriously EvAv, that's not even funny to joke about. I'm seriously considering thinking about asking for the money I donated back. There are some lines you just don't cross.
all transactions final.
Tricky Thumb
08-23-2005, 12:52 AM
Ugh, why the hell would anyone WANT to watch one of that excuse for a human's movies?
Zeal
08-23-2005, 01:17 AM
This man is possibly the worst director in the history of Hollywood cinema, and no, I ain't kiddin'.
beat_takeshi
08-23-2005, 01:49 AM
Hahahahaha. Evil Avatar, I fucking love you.

I dunno what was a funnier moment for me: reading the original post or reading the replies and realizing how many people just don't get it.

That said, I voted Hunter: The Reckoning because I think Uwe Boll's take on that classic franchise is going to be mind-blowing, to put it lightly.


i love that the guy who brings a moment of levity to the thread also quotes warren ellis. i love you in a compleatly heterosexual manner.
Last of the Red Hot Mamas
08-23-2005, 01:59 AM
how many movies does he have to ruin to make you hate him?

Yeah, the House of the Dead movie was great before Boll got his hands on it.
Azrikam
08-23-2005, 03:31 AM
I look forward to the next poll: "What's your favorite STD?" :)
montemuscle1970
08-23-2005, 04:12 AM
Whats even more amazing than his pathetic attempts at cinema, is that somehow, no matter how bad he makes shit, he still has like 6 movies coming out in 05 and 06 apparently. How the hell does that work? Do the studio's granting him the money not watch his work?
Prime Operative
08-23-2005, 04:42 AM
This is why:

in wikipedia.com
Boll essentially is a modern-day director. He's able to secure the investors (mostly German, in Hollywood often derisively referred to as "stupid German money"), secure the rights for cheap, picking games with only moderate brand recognition, does all of the actual production himself, and swiftly cranks out a movie. While under normal circumstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards movies that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year.
Paranoia
08-23-2005, 05:38 AM
What's this? A sarcastic poll?
Evil Avatar
08-23-2005, 05:54 AM
What's this? A sarcastic poll?

No, we would never run a sarcastic poll on Evil Avatar.com.
Madhatter45
08-23-2005, 05:59 AM
That said, I voted Hunter: The Reckoning because I think Uwe Boll's take on that classic franchise is going to be mind-blowing, to put it lightly.

I actually play Hunter (the role playing game) and really wish White wolf would take the lisence away from him. His mind isn't creative and he will certainly fuck up that movie. If White Wolf were to let the movie get made I would say let Robert Rodrigez (spelling?) direct it. At least he has cinematic flare and some damn good movies. I wouldn't be surprised if Uwe Boll shit on some film and said here's the movie. :p
LilEvilFish
08-23-2005, 06:01 AM
Who's Uwe Boll?



Isn't he the director on the Halo movie?
Madhatter45
08-23-2005, 06:04 AM
Who's Uwe Boll?



Isn't he the director on the Halo movie?

Christ no he isn't the director of the Halo movie (thank god). Uwe Boll is a pimple on hollywoods ass that needs to be popped a.s.a.p. He directed such pieces of crap like House of the Dead and Alone in the dark. Heck..check out any of his work at rottentomatoes.com and you'll see it's all garbage.
SnappyCrunch
08-23-2005, 06:28 AM
I'm with thecrazyd and Kefkataran on this one. Uwe Boll has made the funniest movies I've ever seen. I didn't see House of the Dead in theaters, and I regret that, but I'll see pretty much every other movie he makes. Well, I'll watch until he wises up and matures from making hilariously bad movies to just regular bad movies.
morose
08-23-2005, 06:56 AM
Well, I'll watch until he wises up and matures from making hilariously bad movies to just regular bad movies.
Why would he ever do a silly thing like that? He makes a pretty good living doing EXACTLY what he's been doing so far. I think everyone in the industry knows what Boll's name is synonymous with and if they can actually find a decent filmaker who's interested in their title, they go with them first. Uwe just picks up the scraps and goes hog wild. :)
Kefkataran
08-23-2005, 07:12 AM
i love that the guy who brings a moment of levity to the thread also quotes warren ellis. i love you in a compleatly heterosexual manner.

Baby, I think it's time for the next step in our relationship.

(Poor guy probably didn't realize I'm also the source of all the awkward homosexual jokes on EvAv.)

I actually play Hunter (the role playing game) and really wish White wolf would take the lisence away from him. His mind isn't creative and he will certainly fuck up that movie. If White Wolf were to let the movie get made I would say let Robert Rodrigez (spelling?) direct it. At least he has cinematic flare and some damn good movies. I wouldn't be surprised if Uwe Boll shit on some film and said here's the movie.

I'd actually say it's more a case of "if Robert Rodriguez would be interested in directing..." rather than "if they'd let him direct." Any franchise could be done great if under the right writer and director.
Xerxes
08-23-2005, 07:24 AM
Do yall remember in House of the Dead, and she jumped for no reason with a shotgun, then it had bullet time applied to the scene.(All i saw was the trailer mind you) Genius.
B_Money
08-23-2005, 07:29 AM
What's the one where a mentally handicapped girl gets raped? You should rent that one...

I think you're referring to Heart of America (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0279037/), clearly the *best* Uwe Boll movie ever made. Although Blackwoods (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0279695/) sounds like a real winner, too.
DaedalusFolly
08-23-2005, 09:47 AM
Uwe Boll is to be appreciated in his own way. He's a morden day version of Ed Wood, but less original and some how less talented.

Edit: Nuts, someone made that connection in the wikipedia article. Guess I'm not very original either.
Kefkataran
08-23-2005, 09:52 AM
I've heard the Ed Wood comparison and I've always been strangely urged to agree with that. Either way, I can't wait until he has enough movies out that my friends and I can host an all-day Uwe Boll marathon.
LilEvilFish
08-23-2005, 10:05 AM
sarcasm doesn't appear to travel, nevermind ;)
Kefkataran
08-23-2005, 10:13 AM
If I were sarcasm, I would travel. In a boat-car.
Dirty Harry
08-23-2005, 10:19 AM
Man, i hope this gets into the top ten news on www.gametab.com :D.
Shodan2020
08-23-2005, 04:48 PM
He'd better keep his filty fucking hands off of Fear Effect! :(
AversionFX
08-23-2005, 07:57 PM
Seriously EvAv, that's not even funny to joke about. I'm seriously considering thinking about asking for the money I donated back. There are some lines you just don't cross.


ROFL! SO.FREAKING.OWNED.

That made my week, thank you, SpringDog.