F*** Jesus

[CaptStu]

I'm surprised no one has brought up the Dana Jacobson drunken tirade yet. For those that don't know, she was "attempting" to roast some fellow ESPN broadcasters, but got a little too drunk beforehand... If you wanna hear the verbal assault go HERE (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/01/25/edsbs-exclusive-dana-jacobson-audio-from-espn-roast/).

Vodka is not always a good thing.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2361/2219359072_ae612fbc50.jpg

[Heretic Machine]

I'm about to lay down, but I'm bookmarking this shit for later; any time someone says "FUCK JESUS" in public, massive LuLz ensue.

[CaptStu]

I'm about to lay down, but I'm bookmarking this shit for later; any time someone says "FUCK JESUS" in public, massive LuLz ensue.

Notice that I didn't really say that phrase. I don't want to go to hell in case there is a hell, and I should be very afraid of it.

[Grimmjow]

Shes in for a whoosie

[Dr.Finger]

Yeah the Catholic league got their panties in a bunch over it. She was making fun of Notre Dame alum Golic and got out of hand. No big deal.

[Sandman]

I'd hit it....then I'd have sex with her.

[Jack B]

Wow. Wanna get away...?

[Telefrog]

I am a huge fan of bad, really uncomfortable comedy. I would've laughed my ass off.

One of my favorite incidents is Gilbert Gottfried's roast performance for Hugh Heffner. He started to bomb, so he went for the audience killer and started telling jokes about 9/11 and this was three weeks after the tragedy.

Gottfried initially began his performance joking that he had intended to catch a plane but could not get a direct flight because "they said they have to stop at the Empire State Building first." As audience members responded with gasps and cries of "Too soon!", he launched into the Aristocrats joke, effectively winning back the audience and having roastmaster Rob Schneider literally falling out of his chair laughing. When the laughter and applause had subsided, Gottfried commented, "They might have to clean this up for TV," to more laughter and applause.

Of course, all of this was cut from the broadcast.

I also wish I had been able to see Colbert's performance at the 2006 White House Correspondent's Association Dinner which satirized Bush and went over like a lead balloon.

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound—with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

[Sandman]

Is that really her or someone making fun of her? I watch First Take and that doesn't sound like her at all.

[CaptStu]

Here you go, TeleFrog.

Part 1
qa-4E8ZDj9s

Part 2
MOYZF3It848

Part 3
iAvFM4TYQKU

[civil_dead]

Wait...that was a woman?

Sweet Baby Jesus. She sounds gross...not hot, not fuckable.

As for the Fuck Jesus part...well, as a Christian I'm not offended at all. I'm more offended at the sound of her voice, not what it said. I need to Google some photos...

Meh, she's kinda fuckable. But really, if I'm going to go for that sort of thing (scandalous chick) I'm Lisa Lampanelli'ing it all the way. Smarter, funnier and a better set of tits.

All in all I'd rate this...not shocking. Not worth mentioning, really. Except for the cuntrageous sound of her voice. Who'd want that moaning their name?

[KingGorilla]

She sounds like the high school girl who snuck into a college party.

[Shrinn]

nISjjwnQnK8

This is all I could think of as I listened to that.

[TrackZero]

Is that really her or someone making fun of her? I watch First Take and that doesn't sound like her at all.

IMHO someone's faking her.

[Rifter]

Yea, I agree... it was said in a drunken haze. Hell, I I couldn't even GET to that point, but it sounded like she was building up for stupidity... and that is what happend... Stupidity.

[TeeCakes]

Somebody shoulda tazed her, bro.

[Cyrillus]

I'd hit it....then I'd have sex with her.

seriously?

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3981/3650yg6.jpg

I mean, seriously?

[Disgustipated]

seriously?

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3981/3650yg6.jpg

I mean, seriously?

Damn... her jaw could kill a buffalo with one hit.

[NationalKato]

This is a fake. The background noise is a loop.

[cp#]

This is a fake. The background noise is a loop.

Yeah sounds like a man. Video or fail.

[Drinking_Buddy]

Yeah, I've heard drunk bitches ramble before, and thats a man.

[BabyJesus]

No, F*** YOU!

[BlackMako85]

Yeah, I've heard drunk bitches ramble before, and thats a man.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think that. My shim-dar is not broken.

[AbeLincoln]

yeah, picture may be real, but the audio is painfully fake.

[Returner]

seriously?

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3981/3650yg6.jpg

I mean, seriously?

I just threw up in my mouth.

[Ultima Thulian]

She said "Fuck Jesus"? Oh noez, alert the pentagon!

Please, making fun of Jesus or just plain being a dick towards Christianity in general is old hat. The worst she got was a "shame on you" from the Catholic League or whatever.

Weaksauce.

Also, the men on this thread are weaksauce. You guys wouldn't hit that? Pussies. Just but a gag-ball in her mouth, put a burlap sack over her head and do your business. Man up!

[Bad_Buddha]

nISjjwnQnK8

This is all I could think of as I listened to that.

Do you really think I'm going to click on that? No freakin' way! :p

Maybe tonight when I'm drunk...

[CoachCrazyMcScot]

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3981/3650yg6.jpg

Is this the love child of John Elway and Carol Burnett?

[RUSKULL]

yeah, picture may be real, but the audio is painfully fake.

Yeah, I'd feel the need to offer a public appology too for making a fake audio tape of me humiliating myself and offending others, instead of just defending myself with a claim the audio WAS in fact fake. Makes sense! ;)

[stmfuller]

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3981/3650yg6.jpg

Is this the love child of John Elway and Carol Burnett?

I loled
too short

[Troggles]

The audio file is DEFINITELY a fake. As someone who watches ESPN way too much, I can tell you that that is not Dana Jacobson's voice.

[Sandman]

Screw you guys : I'd still hit it.

[Troggles]

Screw you guys : I'd still hit it.

Don't take his opinion of her too seriously. I mean, he wants to screw all of us.

[joshkdmw]

Wow. Wanna get away...?

HOLY DIVER!?

[Datul]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=3210118
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=3218418

Apparently she said something 'inappropriate' and was called out by 'prominent catholics' and was disciplined by ESPN. I have to wait till I get home to check the posted vids here, but there's some truth to the rumor.

If the above are fake, I wonder what she really said...?

[Ultima Thulian]

HOLY DIVER!?

Like the tiger, you can see his stripes but you know he's clean!

Oh Dio, always the thinking man's metal. :D