Army of Poo [Archive]

bapenguin

12-06-2007, 05:38 AM

I stole the headline from Aeropause (http://www.aeropause.com/archives/2007/12/army_of_poo.php), which is where I found this story. Apparently the recent delay of Army of Two might not be able to save the game. According to the original article on Xbox World the game is an absolute mess, not only in gameplay, level design and story, but in the content of the game itself."As it stands, Army of Two is a juvenile swear-fest with clumsy controls, a story apparently penned by a seven year old who hates them ay-rabs, laughable level design that tosses you into a cut-scene every thirty seconds, sub Perfect Dark Zero graphics and the two least likable characters in gaming history. We’d rather play as a Bubsy the Bobcat/Raiden from Metal Gear Solid tag-team than these two douchebags."

Other problems include random left wing one-lines like - "this war isn't about ay-rabs, but about oil" to endless waves of suicide bombers thrown at the masked pair.

There's always hope for Battlefield: Bad Company, which looks to have a bit more personality.

Gorvi

12-06-2007, 05:40 AM

Didn't we know this when the game was originally delayed? I can recall reading on CVG that they actually had a reviewable copy of the PS3 version and the game was just terrible.

menage

12-06-2007, 05:43 AM

I always thought it looked like a mediocre juvenile piece of violent wear ugly masks because they do in popular horror movies fatneck let's try to be tougher than Gears gun hell product.

Shame about K&L

They actually looked bad ass.

Royal Fool

12-06-2007, 05:48 AM

and the two least likable characters in gaming history
Surely not as UGLY and DESPICABLE as Kane & Lynch? [/gerstmann]

Digital Outlaw

12-06-2007, 05:54 AM

I had high hopes for this game, then I realized EA was behind it.

Shifter

12-06-2007, 05:56 AM

I hope this thing gets delayed until it's fixed. It was going to introduce an interesting co-op system whereby one player would grab aggro while the other accomplished goals. I thought that this was pretty creative and would lead to some interesting back and forth. There's precious little innovation in the shooter genre as it is.

Goronmon

12-06-2007, 06:02 AM

I had high hopes for this game, then I realized EA was behind it.I love how people make statements like this when commenting on a preview that says the game sucks. It always gets a light-hearted eye-roll from me, haha.

Johan

12-06-2007, 06:12 AM

I was never looking forward to this game, so...so...so...why am I posting? Bored, I guess.

Dukefrukem

12-06-2007, 06:16 AM

this is very disheartening :(

Lunar Blue

12-06-2007, 06:16 AM

"We’d rather play as a Bubsy the Bobcat/Raiden from Metal Gear Solid tag-team than these two douchebags."

Ouch, that's below the belt man. Then again, I don't think Raiden would notice such a hit. Oh snap!

I love how people make statements like this when commenting on a preview that says the game sucks. It always gets a light-hearted eye-roll from me, haha.

What, you haven't heard? EA's main export is making games suck :rolleyes:

Royal Fool

12-06-2007, 06:16 AM

I love how people make statements like this when commenting on a preview that says the game sucks. It always gets a light-hearted eye-roll from me, haha.

Yes, EA has often shown that it can do good games. It's just that it really doesn't happen too often these days.

Ancalagon

12-06-2007, 06:19 AM

I'm not surprised, EA is very good at shovelling shit.

Digital Outlaw

12-06-2007, 06:19 AM

I love how people make statements like this when commenting on a preview that says the game sucks. It always gets a light-hearted eye-roll from me, haha.

My statement has nothing to do with the preview. Like I said, I had high hopes for this game, until i realized EA was behind it. Where do you do see me say anyhting about the preview? Comments like that always gets a light-hearted eye-roll from me, hahahahaha.

Gorvi

12-06-2007, 06:22 AM

I'm not surprised, EA is very good at shovelling shit.
There are exceptions to that rule, though:

http://www.techshout.com/images/burnout-paradise-ea.jpg

Karmakin

12-06-2007, 06:23 AM

Frankly, that remains to be seen.

menage

12-06-2007, 06:25 AM

Burnout has yet to dissappoint in any great way. Although Dominator was pushing it.

Virtual Machine

12-06-2007, 06:28 AM

Gamersyde had a video commntary sort of thing up a little while back ,and while they weren't high as kites on the game, they certainly didn't hate it either. And the graphics definitely looked better than PDZ. The characters looked pretty good, the dialogue sounded fun, and the weapon customization looked deep and flexible.

Wait and see i guess.

MosBen

12-06-2007, 06:32 AM

Hey, I actually kind of liked the first Bubsy game as a kid...

YoungAlCapone

12-06-2007, 06:42 AM

Hey, I actually kind of liked the first Bubsy game as a kid...

I did too, in fact I played it just a few months ago on my SNES, and I still like it.

Clark352

12-06-2007, 06:48 AM

This game could still do well.

Didn't 50 Cent's POS game make a fuck ton of money?

beefyjr

12-06-2007, 06:51 AM

I don't know. EA published my three favorite games all year: Orange Box, Skate and Rock Band.

menage

12-06-2007, 06:52 AM

Didn't 50 Cent's POS game make a fuck ton of money?

Ah, making money is not the same as making a game which actually deserves it.

Kamalot

12-06-2007, 07:01 AM

Army of Two is a juvenile swear-fest

This is initially what turned me off to the game from the start. I love the idea of games made with co-op in mind. After watching a few videos, I couldn't help but get the notion that the game was designed for a bunch of 13-year-olds who think it is cool to swear at each other constantly.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with adult language, but simply having someone swear just for the sake of it adds nothing.

Edit: If I want to hear juvenile asshattery, I could always play online with 13-year-old bigoted strangers.

Squidbot

12-06-2007, 07:30 AM

Called it.

wiredInsanity

12-06-2007, 07:47 AM

I hear the unemployment bell ringing for that reviewer....sad.

SPBTooL

12-06-2007, 07:50 AM

There's always hope for Battlefield: Bad Company, which looks to have a bit more personality.I think the real successor to Battlefield is going to be Frontlines: Fuel of war. The new media coming from that has looks to be coming together better than expected. However Battlefield: BC is going for a different feel than the last games.

Grifter

12-06-2007, 07:59 AM

I don't know. EA published my three favorite games all year: Orange Box, Skate and Rock Band.

There is a huge difference between publishing a game and developing a game. Other than skate EA had nothing to do with the creation of those games. Harmonix created Rock Band and Valve created Orange Box EA was just the tool of release.

Kamalot

12-06-2007, 08:06 AM

There are exceptions to that rule, though:

I think you said it best Gorvi...

This is what happens when our hobby becomes mainstream. EA [Electronic Arts] is the Backstreet Boys of video games.

Ancalagon

12-06-2007, 08:09 AM

This is what happens when our hobby becomes mainstream. EA [Electronic Arts] is the Backstreet Boys of video games.
E
A's
back
Alright!

jeffbax

12-06-2007, 08:18 AM

Hey, I actually kind of liked the first Bubsy game as a kid...

Bubsy was sweet. Bubsy II... well I liked it but not as good as the first. I blame Nerf.

Shifter

12-06-2007, 08:59 AM

I think the real successor to Battlefield is going to be Frontlines: Fuel of war. The new media coming from that has looks to be coming together better than expected. However Battlefield: BC is going for a different feel than the last games.

I don't really view Army of Two as a successor to Battlefield in any way. Maybe more a successor of Mercenaries or co-op Gears of War. I do agree that Frontlines is going to take over where BF2 left off.

Gorvi

12-06-2007, 09:25 AM

I think you said it best Gorvi...

This is what happens when our hobby becomes mainstream. EA [Electronic Arts] is the Backstreet Boys of video games.
Well, they're more the MTV of video games: they're pushing out the crap to the masses. Madden would be the Backstreet Boys. ;)

KingGorilla

12-06-2007, 10:02 AM

Glad to see that I am not the only one who liked Bubsy. It was a competent Sonic clone.

KNOTE

12-06-2007, 10:03 AM

Well, a delay hopefully means they're turning it around. All the problems in the preview read as very, very expensive to fix. However, it's EA and it's their #1 game for next year. So they have a very good incentive to "fix" it.

KingGorilla

12-06-2007, 10:05 AM

It is nice to see that the console market, much like the PC, got tired of the shere novelty of shooters roughly 5 years after the first smash hit in the genre.

DeluxE

12-06-2007, 10:05 AM

This game is being made by EA Montreal; a "boutique" studio mostly comprised of ex-Ubi Soft staff. In my opinion, it looks a lot like Splinter Cell, which might explain the radical departure Conviction seems to be taking from previous games in that series. I still have hope that the guys behind my favorite stealth multiplayer game can do something new and exciting with online co-op here...

Kamalot

12-06-2007, 10:25 AM

Well, they're more the MTV of video games: they're pushing out the crap to the masses. Madden would be the Backstreet Boys. ;)

Yeah, but the 'EA is the Backstreet Boys of video games' is actually a quote form you from sometime last year. I dunno why, but it really stuck with me.

Edit: Here it is... (http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/showpost.php?p=452722&postcount=31)

Goronmon

12-06-2007, 10:32 AM

My statement has nothing to do with the preview. Like I said, I had high hopes for this game, until i realized EA was behind it. Where do you do see me say anything about the preview?So, if the preview said it was awesome you would still make your comment?

My point was that it's silly to say "See, I knew it was going to suck!" when commenting on a thread like this because well, I tend to focus more on the impressions from someone who has actually played the game rather than the supposed past prognostications of your "gut".

VictorVonViolence

12-06-2007, 11:56 AM

I don't really view Army of Two as a successor to Battlefield in any way. Maybe more a successor of Mercenaries or co-op Gears of War. I do agree that Frontlines is going to take over where BF2 left off.

I highly doubt that, the demo left me overall disappointed in frontline, unless they really turn things around it's not going to be ever near BF2.

As for this game, do you know why I really really liked the coop in Gears? Because the characters were not only likeable, but they genereally liked each other. I don't want to play as two people who fucking hate each other and are just as liable to shoot each other than the enemies.

Ink Asylum

12-06-2007, 01:07 PM

Hey, I actually kind of liked the first Bubsy game as a kid...

Oh sure, the first was fine, despite being a poor Sonic clone. The games just got worse after that.

As a character, though he was a dull, annoying, commitee designed "mascot".

Bubsy 3D. That is all.

Gorvi

12-06-2007, 01:13 PM

Yeah, but the 'EA is the Backstreet Boys of video games' is actually a quote form you from sometime last year. I dunno why, but it really stuck with me.

Edit: Here it is... (http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/showpost.php?p=452722&postcount=31)
Damn, I completely forgot about that. I like my updated analogy better. :)

Pretzel

12-06-2007, 02:12 PM

Hey, I actually kind of liked the first Bubsy game as a kid...

Do a Google search for Bubsy 3D. It was um, kinda bad.

Squidbot

12-06-2007, 02:28 PM

I think the real successor to Battlefield is going to be Frontlines: Fuel of war. The new media coming from that has looks to be coming together better than expected.

I doubt that very much, unfortunately.

AzN.Homeboy

12-06-2007, 02:30 PM

An EA game looks like balls, what's new?

KingGorilla

12-06-2007, 03:36 PM

Do a Google search for Bubsy 3D. It was um, kinda bad.

3D Earthworm Jim does not mean that the first two were not great games. Not that Bubsy was great, but a lot of games translated poorly into 3D. Ever play Castlevania on the N64 or Mega Man on the N64?

Pretzel

12-06-2007, 05:34 PM

3D Earthworm Jim does not mean that the first two were not great games. Not that Bubsy was great, but a lot of games translated poorly into 3D. Ever play Castlevania on the N64 or Mega Man on the N64?

I didn't mean to imply anything about the previous Bubsy games. I just figured that the Bubsy comment was in reference to the 3D one.

KingGorilla

12-06-2007, 05:53 PM

Yeah, now stay away from our cherished and misguided childhood memories.

Ultima Thulian

12-06-2007, 06:23 PM

I think this is excellent news. The publisher, fearful of the shitty reviews, pulls the game last minute in hopes of improving it.

This is great. I'd like to see this happen more often.