Zero Punctuation: Tabula Rasa

[Doctor Setebos]

Ah, Lord British. Everything he touches turns to gold. Or does it? Ben Croshaw from the Escapist (http://www.escapistmagazine.com) examines the Tabula Rasa beta (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2326-Zero-Punctuation-Tabula-Rasa) and gives us the scoop on Richard Garriott's latest title.

It's a "muhmorpuhguh". :D

[TheKeck]

Amusing. I hate to be "one of those guys", but they just aren't as funny as some of his first ones, though. Still, I like them a lot.

[Lekon]

He does have some good points about MMO's... though it was worth it most for the 'This is the worst animation I've ever done' bit. Well, that and the whole 'Fantasy Insertion of Himself' bit.

[Mortis]

Better than the last but not by that much. Still worth watching though, looking forward to next week.

[Norse]

"...but then most people don't understand why I like putting lettuce around my cock and hiding it in other peoples salad"

Brilliant as always....

[captainstrombosis]

Ah hilarious.

[nixpayn]

During the 80s Richard Garriott was my hero. I started with Ultima 4 and played every one loyally. Cept UO cuz we didnt have intaurwebs back then. Ultima 6 changed things up a bit, but it was still ok. 7 was ... well, really slow on a 368 - 10 mins to load a save game lol, 7 part 2 was .. worse than pt 1 i think, and 8 i think everyone would love to forget. i think 9 Garriott wasnt involved in what was actually released, i heard he left and someone else picked up the project and killed it.

The avatar was never meant to jump. nuff said.

I've played almost every big MMO to come out - cept City of Heroes - but - EQ, EQ2, WoW, DAoC, Vanguard, Asherons Call 1 / 2, Anarchy Online, Ryzom, SWG, Lineage 2 and a couple others (currently im playing - and enjoying - sword of the new world. i love that i can xp grind without having to be at my computer and the classes are really neat).

all that being said. Tabula Rasa feels like Star Wars Galaxy meets Anarchy Online with somewhat better weapon hit detection. I played for 2 weeks and it just feels like the strategy element isnt really there. Halo 3 has better strategic gun battle than TR does. And i can understand why it works the way it does.. but i dunno.. it felt really poorly planned. Theres no exciting aspect to combat like you'd think, its just click click click. If you can find anything to kill. in beta there were so many people everywhere you went that there wasnt anything up to kill for the most part lol.

I will say tho, shotguns were fun. some spots feel like WoW when youre down in a cave.. its kinda nice to have that feeling but be weilding a shotgun.

Anyhoo. Its not getting my dollaz.

- nix

[Inglorion]

Three lulz out of five from me.

[Valkyrist]

Zero Puncutation is the highlight of my midweek, every week. I don't agree with everything he says, but christ it's funny.

[Cupelix]

Zero Puncutation is the highlight of my midweek, every week. I don't agree with everything he says, but christ it's funny.
You know why its the highlight of my midweek? Because I have agreed with literally every one of his reviews so far. People might give him shit because he only reviews things negatively, but the lesson is that people should raise their standards and not be content with games that are mediocre drivel.

The only thing I didn't explicitly agree with in his assessment of MMOs is that they're like throwing money away. If you're an avid player, they're actually just about the cheapest damn form of entertainment you can get.

[Roc Ingersol]

damn funny and dead-on as usual.

[GrinR]

Forsomethingsaidreallyfastitseemedtotakeforevertom akethepoint

And it wasn't even worth it, as usual.

[Purple Santa]

"...but then most people don't understand why I like putting lettuce around my cock and hiding it in other peoples salad"

Brilliant as always....

I was listening to this with earphones on my laptop and laughed so hard when that line was said, man did I get odd looks...ok, more than usual...as always makes some great points but really, it's some funny funny stuff.

[evilgoodwin]

Gareth Gobulcoque. I don't know why I can't stop laughing at that name.

[Ten19]

Wednesday is officially my new favourite day of the week.

Well, aside from Friday.

[Spigot]

Loved it, as usual. I'm not one of the haters and until someone can come up with something as amusing but better, I'll keep looking forward to the weekly blitz of negativism!

[VictorVonViolence]

Hilarious, the best part is the whole "my armour take away the uniqueness of character" aspect. I find that in EVERY fricking game, it seems the only way to make a character look unique is to make it a different gender.

[Zanzibar]

God damn him, he is really too funny.

I don't take it as serious reviews. I take it as comedy.

[AeroHudson]

This guy is freaking hilarious! Regardless of you console / platform allegiance (if you have oen at all) you just can't help but laugh when viewing his bits. Good stuff!!

[captainstrombosis]

God damn him, he is really too funny.

I don't take it as serious reviews. I take it as comedy.

I take it as a binary compound. You take his review, plus one of the shitacular reviews that praise everything and give a game a "9.9!".

On their own, they are not truthful, but taken together they add up to what the game is probably like.

[bean19]

Very funny stuff, and I agree that Tabula Rasa is a grind. However, I don't like the thinking that MMOs must contain grind. . . Grind is the term we use for when the individual little games that make up an MMO simply aren't fun or interesting because they are too repetitive.

For instance, killing mobs is fairly fun at first in Tabula Rasa, but at level 1 I'm shooting them with gun A and switching to gun B when they get close. At level 15, I'm shooting them with gun A and switching to gun B when they get close (maybe I cast Lightning too). So combat is ridiculously repetitive and thus not fun. In WoW, those this is often the case (especially with trash mobs), if I am playing in a group then my role changes and I use different skills. Likewise, if I am playing PvP, my role changes. Also, if I am fighting a mob with non-standard attacks, my role changes. Unfortunately, this is not the case for Tabula Rasa.

As with many RPGs, if the story and characters are good enough, they might carry this to a degree, but Tabula Rasa's story is not well told. Text boxes and NPCs that never move are so 1995. WoW also relies heavily on text boxes, but they spice it up every now and again with quests that have mobs that you must escort that walk along with you and bosses that have sequenced attacks/events that are interesting. All MMOs could really improve here honestly. . .

So I disagree with the bits about accepting grind. . . I know that his editorials are secondary to the humor, and I'm 100% on board with the funny, so I'll continue watching every Wednesday.

[Chainblast]

Gareth Gobulcoque. I don't know why I can't stop laughing at that name.

I know. :|

[captainstrombosis]

*snip*

I agree with you there. Although the fact you list escort missions as a GOOD thing makes me want to strangle you!

That aside, Planetside was something I would like to see from more MMO's except with some NPC's or story driven arcs as well as world PVP. Meshing them together with a first-person gamestyle that allows you to take on multiple roles.

Sorry for the thread jack.

[Slack3r78]

Gareth Gobulcoque. I don't know why I can't stop laughing at that name.

The best like that was a friend of mine once had an alt in Shadowbane named St. Peter the Bonerhard.

[KingGorilla]

Forsomethingsaidreallyfastitseemedtotakeforevertom akethepoint

And it wasn't even worth it, as usual.

As Richard Garriot's "squire" I am having trouble taking this comment seriously. Maybe you and the Halo fans can start a support group.

I do disagree with him on one main point. There are a lot of RPG and MMORPG players who have been looking for another Sci Fi fix. Eve is a very hard game to learn. Galaxies has actually been growing its user base. TR may be able to scratch that Sci Fi itch that so many people have.

[Scaryfaced]

The best like that was a friend of mine once had an alt in Shadowbane named St. Peter the Bonerhard.

You can get away with naming your character just about anything in Shadowbane. My buddy played a warrior named Negronomicon.

I think my favorite part was the little mock up of the Heavy Weapons guy from TF2 and the Dark Elf molding together with the little "Kill meeee" next to it.

[Slack3r78]

You can get away with naming your character just about anything in Shadowbane. My buddy played a warrior named Negronomicon.
This was long enough ago that they actually made him change it. :)

[captainstrombosis]

This reminds me of when I had the name Raegonomics on my Gnome Rogue in WoW (of course it's spelled wrong). So a GM sends me a message telling me my name is being changed to Preslyn, while I'm staring right at "Shwetynutz" the Human Mage.

This struck me as hilarious.

[Wolvie]

Oh man that was hilarious! Way better then last weeks snore-fest Halo 3 review. He definitely got back into his funny groove, I was getting worried there for a minute, and it was totally unfounded.

[Gorvi]

Loved it, as usual. I agree that all MMOs need the grind, it's what keeps you around so long paying that monthly fee. The key is making that grind enjoyable.