Halo 3 Buzz From Gamestop User Reviews

[bapenguin]

A long time ago on this very website I was running a feature called Real Gamer Reviews (http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-10718.html). Every week I looked at the EB Games.com User reviews for some truly, um, unique commentary.

Today I happened to be on the Gamestop site and noticed they had opened a preview buzz (http://www.gamestop.com/ReadReviews.asp?product_id=200240) section for Halo 3.

Combining the rampant fanboyism that comes with Halo, with the pure brilliance that is the review section of an online game retailer has to yield some pretty entertaining results...no?

Lets take a look at some of the personalities.

First up...someone who doesn't believe the hype.
To me, Halo is a great game.. but i smell a disappointment coming with Halo 3. i dont think its gonna live up to its hype, its gonna be like spiderman 3! LOL! well, if its good, than WOW!
And of course, the philospher.
People that bash halo are just upset because its to fast paced for them and they have bad aim. My advice for these people is to get off this post and go play a game where can take time with your shots like gears.
In my opinion taking cover is for those that lack skill in video games and cant handle the blistering speed of all that is HALO.
The game designer wanna-be.
All Halo games are the same all you do is walk around and kill people, each new one only has better maps so its useless buying it cause theyll make number 4 next year the same way but just more maps and weapons.
And finally...the obvious.
I am really amazed because Halo is making it's debut on Microsoft's new console the XBOX 360. I mean Halo 3 for the 360 is going to be awesome. I mean sure Microsoft is trying to do something new and everything but Halo 3 is going to be the most wanted games on the XBOX 360!

[Gorvi]

Man, those are always an entertaining read. Thanks for the reminder, there. Games that are immensely popular are always the best, though. :D

[digitalErich]

Call that one user a philosopher is being generous there, Bap.

[joruussuun]

http://www.evilavatarcomics.com/comics/2006/20.jpg

[sprankton]

I have been reading those for a long time with other games. It is funny how people comment on games that they have yet to play. It makes me laugh inside.

[ResistanceAddict]

What a bunch of morons.

[frederec]

If you want to do this regularly, I'd like to encourage it. This is entertaining. It's always nice to look at ridiculous people giving their opinions on things which haven't even been released yet. Because I would never trumpet my opinion on something I don't really know about. No way, not me.

[ldi222]

If you want to do this regularly, I'd like to encourage it. This is entertaining. It's always nice to look at ridiculous people giving their opinions on things which haven't even been released yet. Because I would never trumpet my opinion on something I don't really know about. No way, not me.

hehehe I think I get it.

[Wyrm]

Few places on the internet do people look dumber than on those reviews.

[total]

halo 3 is 4 nubs who like too play gamez with little kidz lol....GET A LIFE KIDDIEZ

[Loki_09]

Bap, I think you forgot one. The moron:

halo 3 is 4 nubs who like too play gamez with little kidz lol....GET A LIFE KIDDIEZ

total, I really hope you're just being sarcastic in the wake of the complete idiocy that is the gamespot user "reviews".

[violentp]

What, we making fun of the handicapped now? Lame.

[Gorvi]

Great, now you've got me looking at them. :p

From the Final Fantasy XIII reviews:
Final Fantasy has been a great game from the start. with every game changing and adding new techniques, screen play and battle modes. FXIII is highly anticipated and has much to live up to. But neither of the games has ever been able to compete with FF7 some have tried. FFX and FFXII and i have played them all and think they are great games. but none have what it takes to win game of the year as FFVII has. I believe that FFXIII can be game of the year on the console. It will be the first title on the new PS console as 7 was only if 13 can bring to te table a great storyline, mind blowing techniques and moves, superb gameplay and be a title which the likes of Final Fantasy Fans have never seen. It can and could be the greatest installment of Final Fantasy ever to grace its title.

Classic.

[SPBTooL]

People that bash halo are just upset because its to fast paced for them and they have bad aim. My advice for these people is to get off this post and go play a game where can take time with your shots like gears.
In my opinion taking cover is for those that lack skill in video games and cant handle the blistering speed of all that is HALO.That one made me laugh. He really has no clue that he has no clue on what he's talking about.

[Telefrog]

The comments on the GameStop boards are pure gold compared to the ones at GameFAQs (http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/gentopic.php?board=926632). Check out this example of brilliance:

I am fed up of people saying "Halo 3 will bee the best game ever" or "the halo series is the best"

IT'S NOT

The gta series is way better than this and i will bet any of you GTA IV will be better than halo 3

And don't deny it.

i still like this game it's just stop saying halo is the best game ever


Thank You

[frederec]

All this stuff reminds me about this kid I used to tutor. He was a junior in high school, and about six months to a year before the PS3 was released anywhere, he started telling me how a friend of his had one. He hadn't seen it himself, of course, and his friend had it over on the east coast, or something like that. But he was most insistent that he already had one.

Sometimes I miss the naivety of high school and...wait, no I don't. I'm glad I'm not quite THAT gullible anymore.

[Wraith]

The game designer wanna-be.All Halo games are the same all you do is walk around and kill people, each new one only has better maps so its useless buying it cause theyll make number 4 next year the same way but just more maps and weapons.Dude just described, what, 50% of video games in general? Maybe 75% if you make the terms even more general.

[Gorvi]

All this stuff reminds me about this kid I used to tutor. He was a junior in high school, and about six months to a year before the PS3 was released anywhere, he started telling me how a friend of his had one. He hadn't seen it himself, of course, and his friend had it over on the east coast, or something like that. But he was most insistent that he already had one.

Sometimes I miss the naivety of high school and...wait, no I don't. I'm glad I'm not quite THAT gullible anymore.
Oh, man, I remember those days. That was great. I can remember back in middle school kids saying things like "Man, the Ultra 64 has been out in Japan for like 3 years now, they went past the SNES years ago." :p

[BrainDrain]

This is the one that really made me laugh. They just described every FPS to date.

All Halo games are the same all you do is walk around and kill people, each new one only has better maps so its useless buying it cause theyll make number 4 next year the same way but just more maps and weapons.

[Johan]

They sound so unlike us! :confused::D

[NoName]

The comments on the GameStop boards are pure gold compared to the ones at GameFAQs (http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/gentopic.php?board=926632). Check out this example of brilliance:

That's what I was thinking. Maybe we should do a contest to see who can find the most mind numbing GameFaqs post. Such horrors...

[frederec]

Oh, man, I remember those days. That was great. I can remember back in middle school kids saying things like "Man, the Ultra 64 has been out in Japan for like 3 years now, they went past the SNES years ago." :p

The best part is he was totally immune to any degree of logic or reason. I would drag him over to a computer with internet access and show him how his friend was full of crap, and he kept insisting that it was true.

[frederec]

This is the one that really made me laugh. They just described every FPS to date.

FPS? What are you talking about? This describes almost every GAME made to date. At least action games. Hell, and some RPGs, depending on how you feel like spinning it.

[Codicier]

That's what I was thinking. Maybe we should do a contest to see who can find the most mind numbing GameFaqs post. Such horrors...

That would be awesome! Nothing like laughing at the stupidity of others to make me feel smart.

[total]

Bap, I think you forgot one. The moron:
total, I really hope you're just being sarcastic in the wake of the complete idiocy that is the gamespot user "reviews".

----my joke----



-----you-----

[Mdot23]

This should definitely be a regular thing when a big game is released. The combo of fanboys vs. haters vs. complete idiots always yields hilarious results. Nothing brings out the emotions like Halo, MGS, Mario, Zelda, imo. Somebody always feels the need to defend "their" franchises while somebody feels the need to bash them. .....And we reap the benefits ::cue Lovitz::

[CptTripps]

Wait, Halo is fast paced now?!?!?! I missed that memo.

[KingGorilla]

Did one of them really call Halo fast paced?

[The Continental]

There is far too much punctuation and capitalization in those posts for me to believe they came straight from GameStop. Don't go cleaning that shit up just for the sake of our sanity, I want the pure unadulterated GameStop comments.

[Wraith]

There is far too much punctuation and capitalization in those posts for me to believe they came straight from GameStop. Don't go cleaning that shit up just for the sake of our sanity, I want the pure unadulterated GameStop comments.Here you go, then:best game ever

the pople that come on her and say thay dont understand why so manny pople are so up about this game is the pople that have ps3`and they no that one of the best games out ther is not going to be on the ps3 you no if its not that good of a game why has it gone gold i saw on a wensite the outher day that it has all ready gone gold and thats just couse of the pople that have preordered it me for one so dont koock what you dont have this will be the best game out and the ps3 pople just cant stand it all i can say is ps3 fans eat your hart out

[Libuke]

I think the comic joruussuun posted fits in perfectly with your quote Wraith.

[Telefrog]

That's what I was thinking. Maybe we should do a contest to see who can find the most mind numbing GameFaqs post. Such horrors...

I'd love to see that, but most of them aren't even coherent. Example:

I unplug my 360 when ever im not playing i, can this help me avoid the RRoD? And i also dont play it for long sprees, though i still play it alot. My frien told me that the assuss brd wudnt RRoD if i kep it off alot.

But for every one like that, there's a gem like this:

My girlfriend works at gamespot, they got thier copies this morning, and tonight we wanted to secretly play it on the demo 360 in the store. We are going to buy the same copy on launch day, so the packeging getting damaged isn't an issue.

[roboninja]

Here you go, then:

Give Wraith the "Worst Post" trophy, this one wins.

[Virtuoso]

People on this planet make me sad for the future.

Idiocracy anyone?

[Dr.Finger]

Now you all know why bap stopped doing this column. It took years off his life just wading through the stupid.

[KingGorilla]

People on this planet make me sad for the future.

Idiocracy anyone?

Idiocracy is far too optimistic. The US and China alone will over us in trash in a few decades.

[NationalKato]

Hey, at least it's not a 'review' where the reviewer can't actually give any answers (http://www.gamesradar.com/us/xbox360/game/features/article.jsp?articleId=20070907144820314094&sectionId=1003&releaseId=2005000000000000000350). I mean, what's the point in talking to someone if they can't answer you?

[sflufan]

The sad thing is that probably some acutal reviews of Halo 3 -- especially those from Xbox-centric sources like OXM and TeamXbox -- are probably going read exactly like these!

[Heretic Machine]

I love it. It is like reading reviews written by DaxFlame (http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Daxflame).

[Kweli]

Hey, at least the reviews are in l33t speak...

"Halo 3 pwnz you! HAHAHAHAHA... you n00b"

[GigaFuzz]

I think my brain 'asploded.

[Chainblast]

All Halo games are the same all you do is walk around and kill people, each new one only has better maps so its useless buying it cause theyll make number 4 next year the same way but just more maps and weapons.

Astute observation no? :P

[IndependentGMR]

Those reviews remind of the ignorance shared by most casual gamers. I brought one of my 360 controllers over to my friend's apartment last week. One of his brother's friends was there, and he couldn't believe that the premium 360 was only $350.00 now. His words exactly, "The 360 was like $700 when it came out. Damn, I should buy one now that they are so cheap!" Also, I went to a party right after the PS2 came out. Some guy tried to convince my friend, and I that the Dreamcast played DVDs. My friend argued with him that it did not, but the guy insisted that his did. He thought he must have bought some kind of special edition.

[johnymitsu]

wanna see some morons? check out the gametrailers.com fourms, i swear every person on that forum is almost as bad as the "sonydefense" guy.

[KingGorilla]

Wait, Halo is fast paced now?!?!?! I missed that memo.

Great minds think alike. Halo is like fighting in cold corn syrup, while having an epileptic seizure and dragging your feet.

[Kelegacy]

This goes to show kids need to put down the controller and read a book from time to time.

Or go on medication.

[Magnanimous Gnome]

I remember when I bought my Xbox back in 2001. The lady at Target who was trying to sell it to me told me repeatedly that it played PC games.

In hindsight I guess she was sort of right. ;)

[TheFlyingOrc]

Great minds think alike. Halo is like fighting in cold corn syrup, while having an epileptic seizure and dragging your feet.
That's the main reason I'm NOT a huge fan of Halo. You go at negative a billion miles an hour.

Isn't Gears FASTER than Halo?

Like, Counter-Strike is the only game I know that runs at a slower pace than Halo.

[ResistanceAddict]

wanna see some morons? check out the gametrailers.com fourms, i swear every person on that forum is almost as bad as the "sonydefense" guy.

I have had HEATED arguments with people who swear that Scorpion was in the original Mortal Kombat 3 (not Ultimate). Funny, eh?

[Heretic Machine]

Here is a user review for City of Heroes, from the Gamtrailers user review section, in it's entirety:

Man this is pretty cool, im sum kind of a flash or sumthin, amazing hulk or the incredible spiderman or sumthing, hehe, this is prty ok, hmm, mby ill blast sum of these bad guys wit my awsome energy blast.

[Disgustipated]

Here is a user review for City of Heroes, from the Gamtrailers user review section, in it's entirety:

Tardsauce wins.

[total]

I have had HEATED arguments with people who swear that Scorpion was in the original Mortal Kombat 3 (not Ultimate). Funny, eh?

Oh dude I have had the same argument. These are the same people who think that there was no MK3, that ultimate was the only one. I am like...no...

It is amazing what can really piss you off sometimes.