[EDITORIAL] - REAL Gamer Reviews #3

[bapenguin]

This week's REAL Gamer Review comes once again from EB Games.com (http://www.ebgames.com). This gem wasn't easily found, as Evil Avatar reader notcivx sent in this grand GoogleCache Link (http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:Thr-HVQXeIMJ:www.ebgames.com/ebx/editorial/reviews/reviews.asp%3Fpf_id%3D257023%26intDeptTab%3D27+&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1&client=firefox-a) to the product in question. The review is for a PSP Max Battery kit. Here it is, in all its unedited glory:
YOU FANS DS WORNG ABOUT THE BATTERYS
This Battery is pwerful I think if u say the psp has a bad battery worng now we have this sthis is worth the $ buy it the juice is power and longer sorry DS you still have the good battery will good bye Ds.

Thank you Brian for such an informative and well worded review of this PSP Battery kit....I think.

We are going to need to take this one step by step and break it down.

YOU FANS DS WORNG ABOUT THE BATTERYS
The DS fans are worng about them? What's so worng about the batterys?

This Battery is pwerful I think if u say the psp has a bad battery worng
I have no doubt a battery that has the word MAX in its title is pwerful, could the PSP having a bad battery be what the FANS DS are worng about?

we have this sthis is worth the $ buy it the juice is power and longer
Of course this is worth the money, it's a MAX battery. On top of that, the juice is power. What juice are you referring to? Apple Juice? Orange Juice? Jesus Juice? Beetlejuice?

sorry DS you still have the good battery will good bye Ds.
Well it's good to see you aren't a total Fanboy Brian, and you admit that the Nintendo DS does indeed have excellent battery life.

In fact, according to the Nintendo Battery FAQ (http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/systems/ds/battery_faq.jsp), the DS should get around 10 hours of playtime. Compare that to IGN's battery review (http://psp.ign.com/articles/574/574557p2.html) for the PSP which gets just under 4 hours.

Finally Brian, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is the Juice is Power and the PSP Max Battery may yield up to 10 hours of playtime (http://psp.gamezone.com/gamesell/p27114.htm). This would bring it equal to the DS. But now the bad news, apparently if you have an "intense gaming session" the Max Battery will only last you 3-4 hours. Not much different than the regular PSP battery.

I guess the original PSP battery juice is power too!

[AniAko]

LOL!!!! You're right, it IS a GEM. It makes I feel more better about mine poor gramer skills :D

[n3rdXcore]

The Juice Is Power Yeeeuuuugggghhh!!!!1oneone

[ChumLord]

I guess the original PSP battery juice is power too!
BZZT WORNG FANBY DS!!! This Battery JUICE IS POWER AND LONGER! Reed post time next.

[phantomhitman]

my head hurts

[Ghostbear]

the amount of dumb people on the 'net never ceases to amaze me.

[AniAko]

the amount of dumb people on the 'net never ceases to amaze me.

I blame technology. It's too easy for dipshits to get on the web and splatter their noxious statements on it. Same problems with driver's licesnes. In America, you are free to be stupid.

[Cubfan]

Hmm...I just might pick up a PSP now.

[danhoo]

The juice is power....brilliant...

[KarmaGhost]

Clearly English isn't his first language... that, or he was crazy drunk.

[Atepsflame]

I blame technology. It's too easy for dipshits to get on the web and splatter their noxious statements on it. Same problems with driver's licesnes. In America, you are free to be stupid.

But that's the essence of freedom my friend. You're only free if you have the freedom to do and say all the wrong and stupid things you want.

[Zurik]

People post stuff like that, yet somehow they have the brain power(not juice power)to sign up on these websites.

[AniAko]

But that's the essence of freedom my friend. You're only free if you have the freedom to do and say all the wrong and stupid things you want.

Which is why I'm bitching about the stupidity ;), I have the freedom to be pissed some keyboard jockey has the right to taint his own freedoms. It goes on forever. :)

[King Chaos]

Hmm...I just might pick up a PSP now.

Ha! I'll just buy the battery. Uhm...juice!

[Demo_Boy]

Could I make a suggestion about this format?

Its too easy to rip on a review where the writer can't even type in english, but I get a lot more satisfaction from reading well written user reviews were the guy is just plain wrong or has made a flatly incorrect assumption and carried that through the whole review.

That might take a bit longer to find, but it would be more entertaining I think.

[Chiron]

Could I make a suggestion about this format?

Its too easy to rip on a review where the writer can't even type in english, but I get a lot more satisfaction from reading well written user reviews were the guy is just plain wrong or has made a flatly incorrect assumption and carried that through the whole review.

That might take a bit longer to find, but it would be more entertaining I think.

I dunno man.

YOU FANS DS WORNG ABOUT THE BATTERYS is comedy gold!

[bapenguin]

Could I make a suggestion about this format?

Its too easy to rip on a review where the writer can't even type in english, but I get a lot more satisfaction from reading well written user reviews were the guy is just plain wrong or has made a flatly incorrect assumption and carried that through the whole review.

That might take a bit longer to find, but it would be more entertaining I think.

I'll be mixing it up...don't worry. :)

[The Letter 3]

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. In a year, I'm going to be teaching English to kids who post things like that. Perhaps they'll reinstate teachers' privilege to hit kids with yardsticks by then.

[Pigeon]

I dunno man.

YOU FANS DS WORNG ABOUT THE BATTERYS is comedy gold!

and don't forget the juice is the power!

[TheFlyingOrc]

This isn't IM...there's no reason for you to not look back through your post to check for spelling. how can a person possibly believe that something that was written in 4 seconds is worth saying? Dratted AIM makes people think their text is important.

[Orosco]

Could I make a suggestion about this format?

Its too easy to rip on a review where the writer can't even type in english, but I get a lot more satisfaction from reading well written user reviews were the guy is just plain wrong or has made a flatly incorrect assumption and carried that through the whole review.

That might take a bit longer to find, but it would be more entertaining I think.


You mean something like this? (http://eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=58149)

I got a headache about 1/4th through it, nothing against Darwinia, good game.

[Jukey]

I agree with Demo_Boy. This entire "series" seems like nothing more than BaPenguin being an asshat "language nazi" while the rest of the posters cheer him on. Is this supposed to be the "attitude" in "Daily Gaming News.... with Attitude"?

Grow up.

[NACIONAL]

I agree with Demo_Boy. This entire "series" seems like nothing more than BaPenguin being an asshat "language nazi" while the rest of the posters cheer him on. Is this supposed to be the "attitude" in "Daily Gaming News.... with Attitude"?

Grow up.


Calm down, I think that sometimes we just need something absurd to look at.

I also think that the poster's first language isn't english... but that doesn't rules him out about thinking first, post later....

[Kefkataran]

Guys, guys, guys. You're missing the point, I think. Look at the big picture: THE JUICE IS POWER. Come on. Surely you understand that.

No, seriously, though, lighten up, Jukey. Bap's far from a language nazi and that's obviously not what this about. I guess you could call him a 'coherency nazi', except he's just having fun rather than, you know, rounding up and burning people who are incoherent.

[mister_slim]

I avoid reader reviews because it's like repeatedly banging my head into a wall: My head hurts and I feel dumber. Now it's like bapenguin is banging my head into a wall. I think a lawsuit is the obvious solution.

[Spigot]

You mean something like this? (http://eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=58149)

I got a headache about 1/4th through it, nothing against Darwinia, good game.
The trend towards this type of review is the main reason I don't read reviews as much as I used to. Some sites are still safe, but the great unwashed hordes are rife with this kind of drivel.

Sigh.

Sadly, that's why I would rather ask around here and get a general consensus as to the strengths and weaknesses of a game than peruse more than a handful of review sites.

[KamaItachi]

"The fans DS"

Is this like the Surgeons general, passers by, Whoppers Junior etc?

[Neosho]

I love the Juice is power...

That should be a shirt.

Evil Avatar:

Remember, the juice is POWER!

[Kefkataran]

I'd buy that shirt.

[jspeak32]

People post stuff like that, yet somehow they have the brain power(not juice power)to sign up on these websites.

YES! That is something that confuses me greatly...how can they manage to go through the sign-up process...

[jspeak32]

Could I make a suggestion about this format?

Its too easy to rip on a review where the writer can't even type in english, but I get a lot more satisfaction from reading well written user reviews were the guy is just plain wrong or has made a flatly incorrect assumption and carried that through the whole review.

That might take a bit longer to find, but it would be more entertaining I think.

No, I think what we have is more entertaining. Which would you rather watch on tv, COPS or something on CSPAN?

[jspeak32]

I agree with Demo_Boy. This entire "series" seems like nothing more than BaPenguin being an asshat "language nazi" while the rest of the posters cheer him on. Is this supposed to be the "attitude" in "Daily Gaming News.... with Attitude"?

Grow up.

Get a sense of humor.

[defcon311]

Not to mention the EB site has really easy posting terms. You guys should check it out. I posted once, there is no Sign Up, just posting and a name entry.

I am a grammar nazi, and this is entertaining. Does that mean that is the intention of this post? No. I laughed, I cried... thank you Bap.

[H.Bogard]

In America, stupids are free to be president.

There............fixed :)